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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26130433">Pain in my squeedily spooch</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fumiku/pseuds/Fumiku'>Fumiku</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Invader Zim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angry Gaz (Invader Zim), Canon Compliant, F/M, Hopefully not OOC, I had to reformat everything to fit on ao3 B'), Light Swearing, Menstruation, Pain, So close yet so far from zagr week, They would sooner be caught dead than openly appreciating the other, ZaGf, Zim and Dib being annoying as per usual, Zim gets snarky with Gaz, beta read bc I plan better than the mighty Zim, confused gaz, gaz-centric, it does not go well, menstruation topic dealt casually nothing weird I swear, period pains, platonic or romantic you choose - Freeform, reluctant allies, slight pov changes, smooth pov transitions, sorry gir no time for you, subjective third person pov, took way too long to write this, vent fic, zim wants attention</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:22:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,294</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26130433</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fumiku/pseuds/Fumiku</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gaz is on her period, and she has no tolerance for Zim and Dib’s bullshit. She’s suffering, and she wants nothing more than to do it in peace, except maybe making others suffer as much as her.</p><p>It’s in Zim’s well-being’s interest, as well as his evil plans’, to help Gaz ease her menstruation pains.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gaz &amp; Zim (Invader Zim), Gaz/Zim (Invader Zim)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Pain in my squeedily spooch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Nothing actually romantic happens so it can just be interpreted platonically too, non-shippers welcome!<br/>This was written by me over the course of like... Many months. Finding the date of when I started it would be interesting tbh... It's kind of a vent fic bc I got the urge to write this because of my own period cramps and oh my god let's not remember the pain degree of that. I'm really satisfied with what I got though! A wacky and weird premise, but a perfect one for these two ngl. The pov jumps a bit, but it's comprehensive dw. All hail subjective third person! Enjoy~</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gaz was done.</p><p>It’s already annoying enough when Dib and Zim keep having dumb fights around her, but having to withstand soul-crushing pain at the same time was unthinkable.</p><p>Yes, her period cramps are making her tolerance for bullshit skyrocket downward. Yes, she’s about to punch them so they stop bloody yelling in her ears.</p><p>“Out of my way, idiots.” She pushed them to pass in between them. School was over, and she desperately needed to go lay down on the couch and play. She made her way to the sidewalk and walked at a quick pace, eager to be home. The weather was ugly. Damp, humid, and uncomfortable, just like her. The pain in her lower belly intensified and she slowed her pace while cringing through her teeth, not changing much from her usual indifferent scowl.</p><p>“Gaz!” She heard her brother’s annoying high pitched call and his quick steps approaching her. She grunted. “Zim is going to do something unspeakable! We have to stop him!”</p><p>And Zim appeared not far behind her, snickering. “You can do nothing against Zim, fool! But maybe your pathetic attempts will entertain me, after all. I would like to see the despair on your face following your continuous failures.”</p><p>Oh <em>hell</em> no.</p><p>“Gaz! We have to do something!” Dib’s voice worriedly cried in her right ear, and Zim laughed his dumb maniacal laugh in her left one.</p><p>
  <em>That’s it.</em>
</p><p>She stopped abruptly.</p><p>Zim proudly held out a remote-like device. “It’s with this incredible device that Zim will annihilate any hope-” Next thing they knew Gaz’s hand had crushed the device to dust, letting it fall to the ground with a broken thud.</p><p>Zim fell on his knees with a choked gasp, mouth gaping with shock and despair. Gaz simply turned to continue walking again, frown as sharp as ever.</p><p> </p><p>Dib was also paralyzed from shock, and could do nothing more than stare at Gaz walking away from him, Zim and his now broken instrument of doom. Zim was still emitting sounds of choked pain on his knees, eyes completely wide.</p><p>Zim picked up the broken pieces and stood up, sputtering. Dib regained his senses and smugly looked at him, chuckling. “How was that for a pathetic attempt?!”</p><p>Zim frowned defensively at Dib, but chose to change the subject to what was on his mind, a good tactical path. “What is wrong with the Dib-sister? The doom aura emanating from the hyooman is more intense than usual.”</p><p>Dib rolled his eyes. “She’s on her period. She gets angry for no reason when it’s that time of the month, more than usual I mean.”</p><p>Zim squinted suspiciously. “Period?”</p><p>He grimaced. “It’s gross. I’m <em>not</em> having a conversation about it with you. Go ask her if you want to know that badly.” He paused and rewinded what he said in his brain, then snickered. “If this is the way you die, my conscience will do just great. Anyway, your evil plan quite literally just got crushed. You’re harmless now, I have no need to fight you.” And with that, he started walking in another direction, away from Zim and his own home.</p><p>He was probably going to a nerd shop or another dumb nerd location, it does not worry zim. He stood a bit there, unsure what to do and how to proceed. His curosity, however, had been piqued.</p><p>He wanted to know. What possibly could be so bad as to further anger Dib-sister, bringer of doom? And so he ran towards where she had disappeared minutes ago.</p><p>-</p><p>Gaz was now a street closer to the couch, the sweet deliverance. She just kept looping the thought of her playing on her gameslave2 to fight against the waves of pain. She was the best most badass gamer in the world without a doubt, she would <em>not</em> be defeated by this.</p><p>Her deep frown was probably the only thing keeping her from crumbling to the ground in resignation, all her energy had vanished well early in the day. Having to deal with her brother and classmate’s antics on top of the pain was draining. Pure willpower and spite were the only things to hold onto.</p><p>That willpower wavered when she heard someone cry out behind her. "Dib-sister!" She stopped in her tracks, closed her eyes, and sighed. She put a hand to her lower belly when pain swelled at the lack of movement and distraction.</p><p>She heard the steps get closer. She sharply turned around and yelled with a growl, "What?!"</p><p>He was coming over quickly and gracelessly, but as she turned around he stopped in his tracks and pretended to simply be walking up to her coolly.</p><p>He stopped when he was a few meters behind her, not pressed to reply. Everything was silent.</p><p>Eyes half-lidded, he hooked a foot over the other and crossed his arms, occasionally brushing whatever nonexistent dirt was on his shirt. "Well, Dib-sister... Sources have told me there is something particularly powerful bothering you this month, referred to as <em>the</em> period, and I require information over this event."</p><p>After some nonchalant play, he looked at her in the eyes. Gaz wasn’t one to shy away from eye contact, and her stares were harsh and cold. She felt Zim was uncomfortable. It was unheard of for him to ask people things, especially not her. She didn’t give a damn.</p><p>His question finally registered and she had to contain her gag. <em>That</em> took her off guard. What the fuck?? She still couldn’t fully process what he just said and with a glare and tone that could scare any final boss, repeated her greeting. "<strong>What</strong>?"</p><p>Zim lost composure at that, but he regained it quickly. He was a stubborn, prideful dumbass after all. He lifted his chin up and with a half-lidded gaze and an (almost) confident voice replied. "I-I believe the Dib-sister has heard me well. I demand to know."</p><p>Gaz was cracking her knuckles, the pain in her lower belly forgotten as she prepared to make this physical. If this dumbass alien thought she was going to let him mock her- wait. She came to a stop, then snorted. She had to remember he was effectively an alien, and so didn’t know about human behaviors and social constructs. Zim was eyeing her warily with a hint of fear. She wouldn’t care about whatever annoying setbacks people have usually, but in this case it meant she could <em>have fun</em> with this. She let her hands fall to her sides and grinned, a sight to be feared for how rare it was.</p><p>"Well, if you insist. <em>The</em> period is a monthly event where unglodly amount of blood pours out of girls, bringing with it <em>pain</em> and <em>anger</em>." She balled her hand into a fist in his direction for emphasis.</p><p>Zim looked horrified. It took a moment for him to process the statement, his mouth agape. Gaz huffed, this is less entertaining than she was hoping, it was actually turning out to be more of a bother. She turned around as if to continue her way.</p><p>Zim came back to with a start, practically shouting. "Eh?! Impossible, you lie!" He wriggled there in place for a few seconds, then snapped out of it when he realized he was getting left behind. He scurried closer behind Gaz walking. "Or perhaps, is this another proof of the natural inferiority of hyooman anatomy?!" He squinted around, making small sounds of increasing confusion. Gaz grunted at the annoying sounds, he was back to being loud and she regretted her life choices. "But how?! Why?!"</p><p>Gaz knew most of what it was, of course. She was a scientific genius, after all. Though if she wanted to share the explanations, she did not know. Better to give him what he wants now to be done with it she supposed, Zim would not be satisfied with a wacky made up reason. She sighed. "It’s an organ that stocks up on too much blood, and then realizing it’s got too much blood, releases it all and cuts the blood circulation to itself, effectively choking itself."</p><p>Zim seemed surprised at her answer, or her cooperativeness, whatever. They were getting rather close to her house, sweet deliverance is near. Zim spoke, his fingers touching in reflection of his calculating mind. "I noticed you being protective of your human squeedily spooch on a few occasions today, it must be the area of inflicted pained, no?"</p><p>They were arriving at her home. Gaz was walking quicker and quicker in hope to ditch Zim, and to relieve this pain and bad mood as soon as possible. "Yes."</p><p>"And you confirm this is the reason you are being disruptive as to my plans?" He stopped and frowned as she was nearing the door of her house, his tone suggestive.</p><p>Gaz replayed the thought of the couch and her gameslave over and over in her mind in encouragement to her cramping body. He was saying too many words for her to care to listen anyway. She absentmindedly told Zim "Yeah, whatever." and slammed her front door in his face.</p><p>A sigh and a soft smile escaped her as she made her way to the couch. The slight relief of the pain as she laid down made her relax. Finally.</p><p>-</p><p>Zim had been researching. Her talks of dysfunctional organs had intrigued him, and he had to discover it all. Other life forms he’d learnt about had had weird and ineffective bodily functions as well, but it never ceased to baffle him. He wouldn’t tolerate not knowing such a fact about his biggest ennemy’s species.</p><p>He had thought that perhaps it was a way for bodies to train the mind against pain and bloody sights for battle, redeeming it somewhat. After all, it wouldn’t have surprised him considering how fit for battle the Dib-sister was. A systematic war training for hyooman females would have explained some things, and would have been relatable to an irken such as Zim. The facts had turned out much different however. He shuddered at the thought. He much preferred to inflict doom than to experience it, thank you very much.</p><p>His learning done, he unfocused from the screen in front of him. He turned around in his chair to face the rest of his base, thinking of his next move.</p><p>With her words, it seemed obvious, there was only one thing left to do. He had done all the necessary research. He glanced at the non-Earth-originating liquid he was planning on using. Or well... <em>Almost</em> all of the research. He brought out his tools. No matter, it isn’t <em>completely</em> necessary knowledge anyway. And with the messy notes and sketchy blueprint, he put his hands to work.</p><p>-</p><p>Next morning had come and Gaz had started her day with blood where it shouldn’t be. The pain had barely toned down from yesterday and she could guess today would be just as swell.</p><p>She didn’t bother pretending to be having a decent morning as she made her way to skool scowling, having barely eaten anything for breakfast with how her belly was feeling.</p><p>She grumbled and played games through her class, having a hard time focusing on the skool subjects at all. She left the last class as soon as the bell rang and headed for the exit of the skool. She was ready to head for her home without waiting for Dib when a certain green dimwit practically tackled her.</p><p>She’d stopped in her tracks when he had rushed at her and stayed in her way, though she was ready to push him to the side and or step over him if necessary. Especially with yesterday’s dumbassery fresh in her mind. "Ugh, what do you w-"</p><p>"Silence hyooman!" The interruption was daring, and irritated her. She didn’t bother to speak up again though as Zim suspiciously glanced around the skool gates. He was still squinting around when he suddenly took her wrist in his gloved hands and tugged on it, pulling her along as she recovered from shock. Zim walked quickly, yet they barely turned a cornerwhen Gaz snatched her wrist away. "<em>Excuse</em> me? Do you <em>wish</em> to die?" She glared at him with halfway opened eyes and an intense frown.</p><p>Zim, for once, seemed unimpressed and took her moody attitude in stride as he looked back at her, panting slightly. "Excuse you, Zim just saved us the trouble of being interrupted by Dib-stink."</p><p>Gaz was seething and shocked. When had he gotten a backbone? Does it make Zim more punchable or less boring? What on hell would Dib be interrupting?</p><p>Zim dusted himself off and didn’t seem to notice her stillness. He reached in his backpack while smirking at her. "Now, observe in awe as I show such incredible generosity to an inferior being like yourself!" He took out a... Strange device. If Dib was here, he would certainly assume its purpose was to destroy the world.</p><p>Things weren’t making any more sense and she just stared dumbfoundedly at it. "Why the hell would you think I care about this gizmo?"</p><p>Zim humphed. "Why, you practically <em>begged</em> me to make you this!" Gaz was starting to think she had gotten piss drunk around Zim and blacked out, leaving her to never know what event he was referring to, but that wasn’t in the realm of possibilities. Was this a fever dream? Are hallucinations one of menstruations’ second effects?</p><p>She didn’t get more time to doubt reality as Zim continued to explain the device. "See, this is the main body, and its main function is to emit a "comforting warmth". Attached to that, inside of the flexible clothed surface shell, are moving parts to act as massaging devices. There is also a dose of therapeutic liquid that will ooze out that comforts the muscles and body, and for that reason the best way to use it is directly on your skin, near your lower belly that is, for obvious reasons." Now that she was getting... Some kind of explanation, for as much a rushed and confusing one it was, she could make out that the device did look like a heating pad, with some extra accessories.</p><p>"... What the hell..." She muttered, still squinting at the device. She felt like she was being way too patient with Zim’s behavior, but as done and tired as she was she could do with staying passive that day.</p><p>Zim did look offended at that as he flinched away. " What?! Zim works on a device specially for your- your pathetic, idiotic hyooman problem and this is how you repay him?! I studied the period of doom and conceptualized a fusion of many pain relieving techniques for the specific kind the period inflicts, and all of this for the Gaz-hyooman! Writher in gratitude!"</p><p>Nevermind, her temper was back. A device for period pain relief, seriously? "I never asked you to do any of this. Actually, I’d rather you get out of my way,<em> now<em>." Her voice was low and commanding.</em></em></p><p>
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</p><p>He gasped in horror. "Shame! Shaaaame! We had a deal! I give you the pain relieving device and you stop being- being a dirty, weak fighter that relies on surprise attacks!"</p><p>
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</p><p>Silence fell. Gaz’s face contorted in extreme displeasure. Zim realized his mistake and froze when his fight or flight alarms ran off. He could only choke out a scared apologetic whimper before Gaz’s hand had grabbed his collar. She made sure his feet left the ground as she lifted him up. Her death glare made sure he was in the most extreme of distress. She brought her face close to his as she stared him down. Everything isn’t about him. Zim is just a pathetic, weak worm. "<em>Oh</em>?" She let out, her voice cackling in anger.</p><p>
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</p><p>She snatched the device out of his hand with her free one and made a show of being about to crush it in a fist when he yelled. "No!! Don’t crush it!" His eyes were blown wide, fear gone and replaced with worry for his creation. She chuckled. Was he really so attached to this dumb science project? Pathetic.</p><p>
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</p><p>Her doom face softened to turn in a cruel smile. "Fine, I’ll take it then. Don’t expect to see it again, don’t look in my home’s trash bin, and stay away from me." She shoved him back and he stumbled backwards, trying to keep his balance. She walked away, uncaring of whatever he was going to do next.</p><p>
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</p><p>-</p><p>
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</p><p>Dib was already home when she came in through the door. He raised his eyebrow at her and was about to speak when she growled at him, effectively silencing him. She was finally home and ready to go relax and play, hell no her brother wasn’t about to bother her now.</p><p>
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</p><p>She went up to her room and closed her door. Finally. Some peace. Her room was chilly and perfectly comfortable. She layed on her bed, opened her gameslave and played away.</p><p>
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</p><p>Some games later and she was starting to be very aware of the pain in her stomach. She’d ignored it all day but loosening up now meant it was coming back center stage. It was starting to heavily affect how much fun she was having playing. She glanced at her backpack. She hadn’t planned to use it but... Zim was too weak to make a plan like this to harm her, and it would do little to her even if he were. She wasn’t risking anything if she tried it out...</p><p>
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</p><p>Her game paused, she made her way to her bag and took the still mysterious invention out of where she’d stored it. She swiftly went back to her bed and sat back on the pulled up pillows against her bed frame.</p><p>
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</p><p>Time felt thick as she considered the device. There are no buttons anywhere, so it’s bound to start automatically... In theory.</p><p>
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</p><p>She brought it to her lower stomach and her breath caught.</p><p>
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</p><p>... Nothing was happening. Several seconds passed and she sighed. Of course it was a waste of time, what more should she have expected. What an idiot. She was about to throw it in the trash when it suddenly started moving, she jumped with a start.</p><p>
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</p><p>Huh. It was... Massaging her. This didn’t feel half bad. She then realized her skin was feeling humid where the item was placed. Maybe the device is programmed to release the liquid before starting, hence the delay she experienced. Whatever that substance was, it was probably working because her lower belly was feeling number, while not lessening the relief the massage gave her. The soft heat it was now emitting only made her feel more at ease.</p><p>
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</p><p>She felt a rush of joy and excitement, and perhaps fondness for the alien as the pain eased within minutes. That bastard, where he here she would punch him out of happiness and gratefulness. Not that she would admit it out loud.</p><p>
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</p><p>Her approval cannot be bribed, but she supposed she could stand to avoid going against Zim’s plans for the next month.</p><p>
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</p><p>She slowly fell asleep with the device massaging her pain out, softly smiling.</p><p>
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</p><p>The next day he’d received an update from Gaz. While his fear of her had greatly rekindled, he was pleased to hear his genius had striked yet again, unsurprisingly. He mused over his success as he made his way to note down in his database that gorgalk ooze did have therapeutic effects on human bodies as well. He’d also dully noted Gaz’s insistence that this would become a monthly arrangement. As long as she would not interfere with his schemes he would gladly help the Gaz-human, and perhaps the satisfaction of having pleased such an intimidating figure made him the tiniest bit happy.</p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had to make Dib the classic disgusted by periods and mocking dude I'm sorry- He's still pretty chill tho ngl.<br/>I feel like the pace is kinda everwhere and I got sloppier on some parts, like my brain def entered Gir mode from time to time and words does not compute, but I still rlly like how this turned out. But whatever I'm just doing whatever I want here anyway, mistakes are gucci. The most importantest thing is: I finally finished it ayy<br/>Also here's a nice line I like I couldn't fit in there bc I decided to make Zim an idiot and Gaz an angry meanie: "Your organ is very dumb of course, but still, Zim can respect someone that endures pain and deals with blood every day."<br/>Cue Mulan scene, Zim puts his hand on Gaz's shoulder as per Earth custom. "Err- you'd make a good soldier..."</p><p>Me: writes Gaz and Zim thinking of each other as decent aquaintances<br/>Also me: forgot she wrote Gaz threatening to crush Zim’s bones earlier in a tense scene</p><p>Gosh I love these two dumbasses</p></blockquote></div></div>
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